Monthly Archives: December 2011

Judaism’s Little Secret – It’s Hard to Pray

The Secret
A big issue, when it comes to Shuls and Jews, is that davening is very difficult. This is not pointed out very often from the pulpit, possibly because it would discourage people from making the necessary efforts to improve.

Why is Davening Difficult
One of the reasons that prayer is difficult is because it is very complex. In Shacharis, the morning prayer service, there are five distinct parts 1) brachos and korbonos, 2) Pesukei D’Zimrei (songs of praise) 3) Shema and its Berachos, 4) Shemoneh Esrai, 5) End of service. Each part requires different applications of our emotional, intellectual and spiritual components. Davening is also difficult because the act of speaking to G-d is a very abstract process. The third major difficulty is keeping focused and maintaining focus, a problem that’s whose existence is evident from the halacha for hundreds of years. This has certainly become worse over the years as our world has become a more distracted place.

Bad Habits are Hard to Break
People learn to daven very early in life when they don’t have the intellectual maturity to understand its depths. As a result the “Shake and Fake” process, as the kids sometimes call it, gets baked into a potentially lifelong bad habit of going through the motions. Years of Shul going in the early years can also effect our approach to davening.

The Problem for Shuls
As we’ve pointed out in previous posts, one of the primary purposes of gathering together at Shul is to pray. If people are not focused on the prayer process, then the Shul will not be aligned around the goal of providing a great prayer environment. The result of this misalignment leads to problems like talking, speed of davening and structure of the prayer service, which we’ll talk about in coming weeks. In non-Observant Shuls, the disconnect from prayer has been described as a leading cause of the Decline of the Great American Non-Orthodox Synogogue.

What We Can We Do
The first step is to educate people to the fact that almost everyone has trouble with concentration during davenig, but with effort we can improve over time. Providing shiurim and starting vaadim (groups working on improving) is a great step in the right direction. Sharing experiences that worked among members can encourage the attitude that if my neighbor has improved, then so can I. From a Shul Politics perspective it’s important to keep “providing a great place to daven” high on the Shul’s agenda even if we’re not at the level we would like to be regarding prayer.

The Shul Politics of Chanukah

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As we’ve stated previously, we don’t view politics as a negative thing, rather it’s the process by which a group of people resolves the ever present tensions in communal situations. Let’s look at some political Chanukah scenarios.

Full Hallel and Full Speed Ahead
On Chanukah, our Sages have instituted that we say full Hallel in the Shacharis morning services to praise G-d for the miracles He performed for us. This along with the Torah reading for Chanukah adds a considerable amount of time to the morning service which is already under pressure for those who need to get to work or help get the kids out to school. The response to this tension is usually resolved in a fast Hallel to accommodate the time requirement, but perhaps it would be nice to allocate 30-60 seconds to sing one part of Hallel.

The Dedication of the Menorah
In some Shuls there are Menorahs which were formally dedicated. It sometimes happens that a member on his own purchases a menorah for the Shul, without going through a more formal Shul dedication process. What happens when the Shul decides that they want to replace that Menorah with something nicer. We don’t want to offend the member who performed the original generous act, while at the same time we want a nicer menorah for the Shul.

The Lighting of the Menorah
The lighting of the Menorah is a Shul honor that seems to be less sought after than other kibbudim (honors). Nonetheless somebody has to light. It seems that there are many varying procedures as to how to delegate this honor through the eight days and nights of Chanukah.

Ma’oz Tzur at Maariv
After the Chanukah Menorah lighting at Maariv, some Shuls sing Ma’oz Tzur before praying Maariv. On the one hand there is no obligation to sing Ma’oz Tzur in shul, but on the other perhaps we can view it as a correction for the fast Hallel we probably said at that morning’s Shacharis. There is also not the same time constraints at Maariv as at Shacharis. Nonetheless some of the mispallim (people who daven) would rather skip the Ma’oz Tzur and be finished with davening 5 minutes earlier. If you are in a Shul that does say Ma’oz Tzur, grin and bear it or better yet sing along and join in the praise of Hashem.

Happy Chanukah!

Shuls at their Best – A Shlishi to Remember

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The following story occurred 13 years ago and Eugene calls me every year to relive the joy of that moment. It highlights some of the heights a Shul can reach.

It was the beginning of December 1998 and the Shul was in the midst of a fantastic Simcha streak. Since we moved in to the new building in August, almost every Shabbos had a Mazel Tov, whether it be a new baby, a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, an engagement, an Aufruf or a Wedding. It was a great time to be a member.

As I left for Daf Yomi, my wife asked me if there was anything special going on in Shul this Shabbos. I told her, “Not this week”. As I arrived at Shul, I saw Eugene leaving the Shul with a big smile on his face. I asked him what he was doing at Shul an hour early. He told me he had to take a walk and get some exercise as per Doctor’s orders.

Davening proceeded nicely at its normal pace. After the Kohen Aliyah, Chaim K was called up as a Chassan in honor of his recent marriage to Esther G. Then came a Shlishi to remember.

The Gabbai called up HaChasan Yerucham Avraham Ben Yehuda Tuvia. HaChasan? Everybody looked at each other asking the same question, “Did you know?” But nobody knew.

During the course of the Aliyah it was confirmed, Eugene was a Chasan. He had managed to keep it a secret from everybody. A tremendous feeling of joy overcame us. After the Misheberach, somebody grabbed my hand and said let’s dance. In just a few seconds, we were all circling the Bimah singing Siman Tov and Mazel Tov. It was a sight to behold.

The feelings of joy continued through the rest of davening. The entire Shul was giddy. After davening, everybody was anxious to share the good news with whomever they could find. Somebody remarked that this was one of the top ten moments in our Shul history. We’ll be having a contest as to what the other nine events were. In any case, this was right up there. We all hope we are zoche to share many more Simchas with the Chasan and Kallah in the future.

Understanding Your Shul President

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Being a Shul President is taxing, tiring and consuming. If you understand the trials and tribulations of the president you can help your shul, yourself and of course, the president. Although there are Shuls with female presidents, I’ll use the pronoun he in this article for ease of writing and reading.

Leader
Shuls have an interesting configuration in the partnership between the Rabbi and the President. The Rabbi is hopefully the undisputed spiritual leader, while the president is responsible for the non-spiritual needs, in addition to supporting the Rabbi in all matters. If the Rabbi and the president are not working well together, trouble is sure to follow.

In regard to the lay leadership, the overall mission of a Shul as a place for prayer, learning and loving-kindness are set, however some shuls do add new mission ingredients to the standard mix. Leadership abilities definitely come into play when handling special projects like a new building or when handling crisis situations.

The overall key to leadership is seeing the big picture. There’ll be a lot of issues and problems that come up day to day, but a focus on the mission, which includes providing a peaceful place for the members to daven, learn and help each other must always be upfront. The president is there to serve the members and he must always keep that in mind, especially if a member gets hot under the collar. It’s not a reciprocal relationship and that can sometimes make it difficult.

Manager
Management is a key presidential skill. There are numerous things that need to be taken care of on a weekly basis and the buck stops with the president. He’s the one who’s responsible. A president can sometimes get away with being a so-so manager if he has some good people under him that get things done.

The president also has to mange those who do volunteer to work on shul affairs. The general rule of thumb is to let those who volunteer have the space to do the job in the manner they see fit. Sometimes this might result in lesser success, but in the long run it benefits the Shul. The president needs to be aware of what’s going on in each area and to support the shul volunteers in the roles they assume.

Governor
The president is the governor of the Shul and needs to develop that talent. There are a lot of decisions that have to be made and then enacted. It’s important for the president to depend on the membership to help govern. Talking out issues with the members, understanding the various points of view, clearly spelling out their thinking on every subject, getting feedback and then making a decision and going forward. If the president works with the membership, the right decision will be made more often and there will be less difficulty administering the results.

Peacemaker
Perhaps the most difficult yet important role is the president as peacemaker. He must truly hear and understand each member’s point of view, even if he might disagree. Even when the president is quite sure the member is wrong on a particular issue, he must still try to make peace and try to satisfy the member in whatever way possible. This can be very difficult, but when it comes to the successful care and feeding of a Shul, shalom trumps emes (peace overrides truth).

Member to member conflicts can be even more difficult and the president has to develop the skills of Aaron HaKohen a renowned peacemaker. It’s not easy, but when members see that the president does truly care about them, they will be more successful in their peacemaker role.

Summary
Of course there’s much more to say about this subject, but just as a president must understand his members’ attention spans when it comes to the Shabbos announcements, so to a web writer must understand the attention allocation of his readers.

It’s hard to find the highly developed qualities of leader, manager, governor and peacemaker in one person, so cut your president some slack. If you do accept the wonderful responsibility of being shul president, you can surely grow from the effort.